Facing reality
I usually try to keep my blog entries up beat. Okay, I know I bitch and whine a lot, but for the most part, I try not to be a downer. There are more than enough ways to get depressed than by reading a blog of a struggling writer.
Unfortunately, I feel the need to share my feelings today and since I'm still "in the closet" about my writing life, you all get to hear it.
Lucky you.
hahahaha
See, I've had some painful realizitions lately and they're somewhat depressing to me.
I've had this fantasy that when my youngest goes off to first grade, when she's in all day school, I'll be able to stay home and write for a living. I've been pushing myself hard for the last few years to have a constant stream of releases so I could show my husband that writing is a viable means of employment for me.
Well, he's not buying it. Probably because no one else is buying me either, hahahaha.
Teamed with my part-time teaching income, my writing income qualifies me for food stamps. It hasn't been a big deal because I wouldn't be able to work full time until my youngest goes off to school anyway. But now, I have face reality and realize that if I want to send my children to college and help pay for their weddings (in twenty years) I'm going to have to go back to work full time.
BUT this does not mean my writing days are over. Oh no. No way. I don't think I could function if I didn't write. I have too many stories that need to be told, too many characters banging around in my brain. If I stop writing, I'll go insane.
Instead, I'm going to have to cut down the number of releases I have in a year and organize my writing time better. I'll also have to get up earlier in the morning, ugh, and write before I get the kids ready for school since I don't have the time or inclination afterwards.
The good part about all of this, besides having more money to go to conferences, is that I don't have to do this for another year and a half. So for the next 18+ months, I'm going to enjoy my writing time. I'm going to revel in working part time and writing full time. And I'll be one of the happiest writers you've ever seen!
Unfortunately, I feel the need to share my feelings today and since I'm still "in the closet" about my writing life, you all get to hear it.
Lucky you.
hahahaha
See, I've had some painful realizitions lately and they're somewhat depressing to me.
I've had this fantasy that when my youngest goes off to first grade, when she's in all day school, I'll be able to stay home and write for a living. I've been pushing myself hard for the last few years to have a constant stream of releases so I could show my husband that writing is a viable means of employment for me.
Well, he's not buying it. Probably because no one else is buying me either, hahahaha.
Teamed with my part-time teaching income, my writing income qualifies me for food stamps. It hasn't been a big deal because I wouldn't be able to work full time until my youngest goes off to school anyway. But now, I have face reality and realize that if I want to send my children to college and help pay for their weddings (in twenty years) I'm going to have to go back to work full time.
BUT this does not mean my writing days are over. Oh no. No way. I don't think I could function if I didn't write. I have too many stories that need to be told, too many characters banging around in my brain. If I stop writing, I'll go insane.
Instead, I'm going to have to cut down the number of releases I have in a year and organize my writing time better. I'll also have to get up earlier in the morning, ugh, and write before I get the kids ready for school since I don't have the time or inclination afterwards.
The good part about all of this, besides having more money to go to conferences, is that I don't have to do this for another year and a half. So for the next 18+ months, I'm going to enjoy my writing time. I'm going to revel in working part time and writing full time. And I'll be one of the happiest writers you've ever seen!
posted by Arianna Hart @ 3:22 PM
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