Arianna's Blog

Come listen to the ramblings and assorted babblings of a crazed mother and newbie author. It might not always be helpful, but it should be amusing.

Friday, May 05, 2006

Practice what you preach

I have three daughters. Three pretty smart daughters. Sometimes I wonder if it be a little easier on me if they weren't so darn smart.

As you know, I've been dieting since September to get rid of 30 pounds of stress weight. I managed to lose 23 and then stalled. In fact, after visiting my sister in Georgia and eating biscuits and gravy, I managed to put 3 pounds back on.

RT is a week away.
What are the chances I'll lose those 10 pounds in the next 10 days? Slim to none, I'd say. Anyway, my house has not had chips or ice cream or cookies in it for a while. While I was away my husband bought all of the above. I whined because I couldn't have any because of my diet.

Today my girls were watching a Disney sit com called THAT'S SO RAVEN and on it, the main character, Raven, who is a typical healthy girl, wasn't allowed to model the dress she created because she wasn't a size 1. She ended up storming the catwalk wearing her creation and declared that all sizes are beautiful.

"See," I told my girls, "everyone is beautiful in their own way. You don't have to be like the girls on magazines to be pretty."

"Then how come you're on a diet mommy?"

ZING! *whoop! whoop! hypocrite alert*

So, I had to come up with something on the spot. I couldn't say "Because mommy doesn't want to look like a cow when she's walking in front of 650 people at the Faery Ball." I'd just told them all sizes were beautiful.

My answer was, "Mommy wants to be healthy, so she had to lose some of the unhealthy pounds she'd gained."

But it got me to thinking. I am trying really hard to keep my girls from being as weight conscious as I am. I keep mostly healthy snacks in the house and my girls are very active so they get a lot of exercise. Hopefully, this will help them to remain at a healthy, age appropriate weight at least until they hit puberty.

But is my dieting undermining my efforts to make them self-confident? I've never been very confident about my looks, I don't know if that comes from pudging out in Middle School or if it's just the type of person I am. It's not like I had critical parents or a gorgeous sister that everyone compared me to.

I guess somewhere along the way I bought into the "if I don't look like a Victoria Secret model I'm not attractive."


I'm proud of the weight I lost, it needed to go. With the prevelance of heart and vascular disease in my family, I can't afford to carry around 30 extra pounds. On the other hand, I'll never look like I belong on the pages of a magazine. I don't have that type of body and never will. But does that mean I'm not beautiful?
*cringe cringe*

No it does not. I'm a good mother, wife, daughter and friend and regardless of my looks that makes me beautiful.

There, I did it. Now I just have to try to do it without wanting to apologize for sounding braggy. Hey, I'm 36 years old, my self-perception isn't going to change overnight.

But I owe it to my daughters to practice what I preach. And if I want them to consider themselves beautiful, loving people deserving of respect and appreciation, then I have to do it too.

Now if only the fashion industry would figure that out. . .
Have a great weekend!


  • At 12:13 PM, Blogger Mary Stella said…

    Ari, 20 pounds is a great accomplishment and, like you told your girls, you wanted to lose unhealthy pounds. You aren't dropping weight to wear a size 4. You're demonstrating to them by your eating and exercise habits that you choose to live a healthy lifestyle. DON'T beat yourself over numbers.

    You know that I had a goal to lose 50 pounds by RT. (I carry a LOT more unhealthy pounds than you.) Last week I started retaining water like a camel before a desert trek. I gained 8 pounds in water weight. UGH. I'm pre-menstrual so I want to eat everything in sight and then forage for more.
    Luckily, I got a handle on both issues and the water weight's off. I haven't lost a stunning 10 pounds this month, like I'd been doing and I won't be at the 50 pound loss BUT 40 pounds is still a great accomplishment.

    The bigger accomplishment is that I've converted to MUCH healthier food choices, cut out crappy fast foods, high fat, etc., and I'm exercising at least four times a week. In the long run, those are the things that really matter.

    You'll be beautiful at RT, my friend. See you soon.

  • At 9:20 AM, Blogger KatieW said…


    It's interesting thinking about dieting. I actually HATE HATE the word "diet", because in my house growing up, it meant "can't". You can't have this, you can't have that, or you won't lose weight.

    I lost 10 pounds from January 1st until March (yes, it was my New Year's resolution), and I've been stuck ever since. It bothers the hell out of me, because I wanted to lose 20. I'm stuck at 10.

    I have the problem (ahem, complex) that my older sister is a 4, and little sister is a 0, sometimes negative! I don't think I could EVER be that small, but as I would like to get down to a 6 - heck, even an 8 would be awesome!


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