What's up with the love triangles?

Enough already with the love triangles!!!

It seems like the books I've been reading over the last 6 months or so all seem to have love triangles in them. It's annoying the heck out of me. I don't know about you, but in my life, I had a hard enough time trying to find ONE man worth dating, forget two.

Maybe it's because Janet Evanovich (whom I adore) has been successful with the whole triangle business. Or maybe it's just more exciting to think about two men after you. But honestly, how realistic is it to have two gorgeous, alpha men panting after you?

Maybe it's just me. Maybe I'm not the type of woman to create a love triangle. I sure as hell know I'm not the type that necessarily enjoys reading about them. Fish or cut bait, but make a decision one way or the other on which man you want already!!!

If I don't get to post again before the holidays, I hope everyone has
A Happy Hanukkah
A Festive Winter Solstice
A Happy Kwanza
and a Merry Christmas

And if there are any other holidays I missed, may they be wonderful as well.
Ari

Facing reality

I usually try to keep my blog entries up beat. Okay, I know I bitch and whine a lot, but for the most part, I try not to be a downer. There are more than enough ways to get depressed than by reading a blog of a struggling writer.

Unfortunately, I feel the need to share my feelings today and since I'm still "in the closet" about my writing life, you all get to hear it.

Lucky you.

hahahaha

See, I've had some painful realizitions lately and they're somewhat depressing to me.

I've had this fantasy that when my youngest goes off to first grade, when she's in all day school, I'll be able to stay home and write for a living. I've been pushing myself hard for the last few years to have a constant stream of releases so I could show my husband that writing is a viable means of employment for me.

Well, he's not buying it. Probably because no one else is buying me either, hahahaha.

Teamed with my part-time teaching income, my writing income qualifies me for food stamps. It hasn't been a big deal because I wouldn't be able to work full time until my youngest goes off to school anyway. But now, I have face reality and realize that if I want to send my children to college and help pay for their weddings (in twenty years) I'm going to have to go back to work full time.

BUT this does not mean my writing days are over. Oh no. No way. I don't think I could function if I didn't write. I have too many stories that need to be told, too many characters banging around in my brain. If I stop writing, I'll go insane.

Instead, I'm going to have to cut down the number of releases I have in a year and organize my writing time better. I'll also have to get up earlier in the morning, ugh, and write before I get the kids ready for school since I don't have the time or inclination afterwards.

The good part about all of this, besides having more money to go to conferences, is that I don't have to do this for another year and a half. So for the next 18+ months, I'm going to enjoy my writing time. I'm going to revel in working part time and writing full time. And I'll be one of the happiest writers you've ever seen!

Goo Goo Dolls revisited

Yes!!!
My friend won tickets to see THE GOO GOO DOLLS and she's taking ME!!!
WOOT!!!

This will be the third time I've gotten to see them this year! I'm so excited!
There are going to be other bands there too and it looks to be an awesome night. My friend and I are going out to dinner first and making a night of it.

Merry Christmas to Me! Hahahaha.

Tomorrow I go shopping and try to get everything done in one day. It should be interesting to see if I actually manage it without going broke. . .

Oh! And a friend of mine, Summer Devin, has a release today
http://www.samhainpublishing.com

This book I read part of over a year ago and I just loved it. She does a fantastic job of world building and her characters are incredible. I'm so happy to see this one out! Yay!

I'll let you know how the shopping expidition goes. . .

Potential

A friend of mine is taking my youngest daughter for several hours today. I'll have the house to myself for HOURS. I'm so excited I might just wet my pants.

There are so many things I could do. . .
I could clean the house and keep it clean for more than two minutes
I could get a jump on some of my Christmas shopping
I could get a good chunk of my next book written
I could exercise
I could take a shower ALL BY MYSELF without anyone opening the curtain and saying "Boo!"
I could read a book in peace and quiet and lounge on the couch
I could play on the computer all day and not have to share it so someone can play Playhouse Disney.

So many choices!!!
I think I'll do a combination of all of the above. Sort of.
I'm playing on the computer now
Next, I'll exercise
Then I'll take a shower
Then I'll clean up some of the house (the part I have to see, hahaha)
Then I'll work on my next book
Then I'll lounge on the couch for a little bit until the kids get home from school.

Isn't amazing how much more motivated I can get when I have some alone time? I could do many of these same things with my daughter home, but they'd take twice as long. Or maybe I'm just lazy normally? Hahahahaha

Well, I'm off to get moving so I can enjoy my alone time. Here's wishing you all some alone time for yourselves!

Insecurity

I'm sure I've blogged about this topic before, but it's been on my mind a lot lately.

I was on the phone yesterday with a friend of mine who is also an author. We were talking about the ccraziness that is the writing industry. We're both at about the same place in our careers and have friends that are both higher and lower on the career food chain. It seems no matter how well we perceive someone as doing, they feel they are having problems.

That didn't make much sense. Let me see if I can give an example. . .

Hmmmm. . .

Okay, I'm a published author with almost 20 books out, but because they're all e-books and not available at Wal Mart, I feel like I'm low man on the totem pole.

A friend of mine has a three book contract with a New York Publisher, but because she's still in the mid-list and not getting huge print runs, she feels like she's low man on the totem pole.

Another friend of mine is struggling to get bought by an e-pub and looks up to a different friend who just got bought by the same e-pub who looks up to me because I've had 4 releases with them.

Do you see where this is going? All of us have accomplishments we should be proud of and yet, we're all still looking up to the next step, feeling like we're not as good as the person on the next rung of the ladder.

Not that I recommend boastfulness, but I sometimes wonder why we can't be happy at the spot we're in instead of feeling like we're not as good as someone else.

So for today, I'm going to push my thoughts of failure out of my head and dive into my edits, and be happy that I have edits to do. I'm not going to think about the fact that I'm not on the New York Times Bestsellers list, I'm going to enjoy the space I'm in and be happy in the present.

Sure, I want to strive to achieve bigger and better things, but along the way, I'm going to darn well appreciate the steps I've made.

At least for today.

The *&%$#@ holiday spirit

I'm trying, I'm really trying to get into the holiday spirit. I went to a Christmas party, I've decorated the house, and I've sent out my Christmas cards. But I could still care less about the holiday season.

Christmas used to be my favorite time of year. I loved wrapping presents and listening to Christmas music and seeing all the lights up everywhere. This year I just can't get past everything I have to do to enjoy the season. I haven't even gotten my Christmas tree yet, and I don't know when we'll have time to do it.

I don't want to feel like Scrouge, but it's getting harder and harder to hide my inner bah humbug. Maybe when I've done all my shopping or knocked off the cookie baking or done any of the million other things I have to do I'll feel a little Christmas spirit.

But until then, someone else can have my eggnog. . .