Ouch
Okay, I admit I'm a glutton for punishment. I willingly subject myself to humiliation and dejection on a regular basis.
What am I talking about?
Not book reviews, although I read those with equal amounts dread and anticipation. No, I'm talking about the Amazon.com rankings.
What is this you ask? How can she be a lunatic over something I don't even know about? Quite easily I'm afraid.
Here's how it goes, when you have a book for sale on Amazon every time someone buys your book it pushes your ranking lower. The closer to zero the better.
I am currently in the 600,000's.
Does this in reality mean diddly? Nope. It only accounts for sales through Amazon, not in bookstores or on Ellora's Cave's website.
Does it still gnaw at me like a terminal disease? Yes. Why? I don't know, other than this is a very concrete way I can judge "how I'm doing" and the better the number the better I think I'm doing and therefore the better I'm liked.
Yes, I know that isn't logical but I'm a massively insecure writer, what do you want from me, confidence? I've got to wonder if there really are any truly confident writers out there who put something out and go "Damn, I'm good!" And if they actually do say that, do they mean it or is it just a cover?
I used to think confidence was like money, you either had it or you didn't on various levels. Now I'm wondering if it's more like a sliding scale. I have confidence in some things but not in others. Like I'm very confident in my interpersonal relationships with my close friends and family, it's not something I even think about. I'm confident in my teaching abilities, both high school and kickboxing. But when it comes to my looks ACK! Nope, the well is dry in that area. And apparently the well is pretty tapped out in my writing area too.
Does anyone else feel like this?
And do any of my fellow author buds haunt Amazon too?
What am I talking about?
Not book reviews, although I read those with equal amounts dread and anticipation. No, I'm talking about the Amazon.com rankings.
What is this you ask? How can she be a lunatic over something I don't even know about? Quite easily I'm afraid.
Here's how it goes, when you have a book for sale on Amazon every time someone buys your book it pushes your ranking lower. The closer to zero the better.
I am currently in the 600,000's.
Does this in reality mean diddly? Nope. It only accounts for sales through Amazon, not in bookstores or on Ellora's Cave's website.
Does it still gnaw at me like a terminal disease? Yes. Why? I don't know, other than this is a very concrete way I can judge "how I'm doing" and the better the number the better I think I'm doing and therefore the better I'm liked.
Yes, I know that isn't logical but I'm a massively insecure writer, what do you want from me, confidence? I've got to wonder if there really are any truly confident writers out there who put something out and go "Damn, I'm good!" And if they actually do say that, do they mean it or is it just a cover?
I used to think confidence was like money, you either had it or you didn't on various levels. Now I'm wondering if it's more like a sliding scale. I have confidence in some things but not in others. Like I'm very confident in my interpersonal relationships with my close friends and family, it's not something I even think about. I'm confident in my teaching abilities, both high school and kickboxing. But when it comes to my looks ACK! Nope, the well is dry in that area. And apparently the well is pretty tapped out in my writing area too.
Does anyone else feel like this?
And do any of my fellow author buds haunt Amazon too?
posted by Arianna Hart @ 4:34 PM
2 Comments:
At 3:46 PM,
Kate said…
I've learned to stop. Never again. Nope, I don't do amazon. I don't call Ingrams the book distributor (even though it's an 800 number and no humans). I don't look at publisher's weekly or lunch to see who's selling (when I'm not). And I've stopped googling myself, too.
At 3:51 PM,
Arianna Hart said…
You are a much wiser writer than I! Maybe I'll have to try that approach. . . Ignorance is bliss after all!
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